Last week I vowed to crank out 6 miles as a weekly goal for myself. I missed the mark and was only able to get in 3 miles. It wasn’t because I didn’t try but I didn’t put in the best effort and losing motivation 8 weeks out from your 30th birthday and 12 weeks out from your wedding isn’t really helping either. I ran twice last week and realized that I’m completely at square one with my couch to 10K program. I have zero endurance and I just feel heavier which makes it much harder to run. People seriously! What do you do when you don’t feel like doing anything!?
I’m back to tracking my calories on MyFitnessPal because I think that stunted by weight loss. I spoke with a nutritionist at work who told me to stop counting calories. Well, not counting calories doesn’t really make me aware of what I’m eating – so I just eat. And with a lack of motivation to work out, that means I’m not really moving either. It’s bumming me out and I feel terrible. Not a good mix since I’m looking for my wedding dress this weekend. Joy!
Ok, let’s make a promise! Let’s get those 6 miles in this week and track calories in AND incorporate some non-running exercises. Serrrriously! I can do this!!!
What are YOUR exercise goals this week? How do you stay motivated?
As JP and I start prepping for a future together that includes building a family soon, I’ve questioned my ability to be a good mother because of my relationship with my own mother. We’re not close – never have been, and it’s not that I don’t love her or she doesn’t love me, but it’s more that she’s not your typical mom-type. Without a bond with my own mom, I’ve worried that I’d have difficulty being able to connect to my own children and maybe that’s something that I inherited from her.
When I saw this article, it appalled me at first. The Daily Mail published a first-hand account from a 57 year old mother of two, Isabella Dutton, who resented her children’s existence and despised them for “encroaching” on her life and consuming her time and energy. From the day her son was 5 days old, Dutton knew that she resented the child and felt a detachment that she couldn’t explain. She would go on to “love” and care for him, but still always felt that this child just took and took from her without giving back. Two years later, she gave birth to her second child, and felt the same detachment to her daughter as she did to her son. Her reason for having a second child? “I believe it is utterly selfish to have an only one.”
The only thoughts that rage through my mind while reading this article are that kudos to her being so honest but rageful that she’s so completely selfish. She rants about how women are desperate to have children and even visit a fertility clinic, only to return to work after they give birth and leave their child to be raised by a stranger (babysitter). What about knowing that you do not want to have children and still having them anyways, regardless if you do not want to deny your husband the right to be a father? Do your children deserve a mother that truly hates their existence? Her statement below really got to me:
“What I valued most in my life was time on my own; to reflect, read and enjoy my own company and peace of mind. And suddenly that peace and solitude wasn’t there any more. There were two small interlopers intruding on it. And I’ve never got that peace back.”
And as I sit back and really think about this woman and form an opinion on her situation and even relating it to my own, I feel it bubble up inside me with anger. And I really hope that’s a beacon of light telling me that I’ll be able to form that bond with my own children when the time comes. I know that there will be times when I’ll be angry because I have to get up in the middle of the night or because it’ll take forever to even get out of the house to go to the grocery store, or that eating out at restaurants will be a thing of the past for awhile – but to resent the existence of my child because I don’t have time to read leisurely? I don’t know if I can really relate to that sort of resentment.
Sound-off: Are you a mom or mom-to-be? How did Isabella Dutton’s story make you feel? Are her feelings true of most moms?
My work’s Ultimate Loser Challenge wrapped up two weeks ago and sadly my team didn’t even make the top 10. I believe we finished losing about 1.6% weight overall. Not bad – but not great. In the last week of the program, I gained 2 additional pounds which finished me at 204 – an overall loss of 6.6 lbs from my start. It’s frustrating to see that scale inch back up, especially since I was so excited to drop those 8 lbs in only 6 weeks. I felt great and was really proud of myself.
But then I was getting drained and burned out from all of the running and put working on a side burner. I also started eating whatever I wanted – so the weight of course will creep back up. I still have lots of time before meeting some of my goals and really just need to focus on those goals and get back on track.
What have you done to stay motivated? What are some great recipes to try when shedding those pounds?
As a blogger, I’d like to think that I’m a creative person. I’ve loved to read and make up stories of my own since I was a child – and always had a wide imagination. I’m not really an analytic person and while I can navigate around numbers, I’ve always found more ease reading chapters of a novel versus cracking a tough algebra problem. I’m taking a two-day course at work titled Creativity and Innovation where we’re learning to think more creatively as individuals, as well as blossom in group settings that might not be as creative-friendly. I’m taking this class to learn how to take all of my wild ideas and generate them into an outcome. I blame my ideas and lack of follow-through on that Gemini-spirit, but sometimes I really just do get caught up in what I think it’s a cool idea and later abandon it because I become bored and the idea never comes to fruition.
Some of the concepts I’m learning through the class are quite interesting. And so far, we’ve built a casing for a light bulb using some rudimentary tools, created a new candy bar concept and analyzed some words of wisdom from great leaders of companies. One of the concepts that really resonated with me is using the word “and” in place of “but.” As in, “I love your idea, but it doesn’t really follow the guidelines I was looking for.” We have all heard that when you say “but” to someone, that usually signals that you’re dismissing their idea for an idea of your own. It can be rude, it can disarm the person and if you’re shooting someone down you could stunt their creativity. It’s been my experience sometimes that we use “but” because it’s natural, and we may really want to include their idea and actually add to it and know no other better way to rephrase it. You could actually mean, “I really like your idea, but I think if you expanded on xyz it may make it more impactful.” By replacing that “but” with and, you’re actually including that idea and signaling to the person that you’re engaged, interested and genuine in your feelings. “I really like that idea and by adding xyz it would make it a more impactful project.” See? Doesn’t that sound better?